Hold onto your bike!!

So the downtown session last week was pretty rad to say the least. The crew was Ryan Olson, Ryan Dose, Ryan Ogawa, Fernando Romero, and myself (Andreas Wenzel), all getting off to a pretty smooth start. Fro and Olson killed this little bus stop bench with an arched back rest which threw you out of the grind like a launch ramp- Olson iced it clean while Fro pulled a double peg-to-bar out multiple times. Eventually we had to make a pit stop and get some snacks from the CVS pharmacy in the Fulton Mall. While Ogawa was in the men’s room, the rest of us were munching on our snacks in the shade when Dirty Mike randomly appeared. The five of us were just enjoying conversation, when this random dude walking by grabs my bike by the bars, hops on and tries to bolt out with it! Olson, Dose and Fro immediately reacted, getting on their bikes and catching up to the guy within no time at all, when Olson tried to launch his bike in front of the guy hoping we’d get to see him get bucked off to face-plant or something. The bike landed just to the side of the guy and so it was still on for a few more seconds as Dose and Fro closed in on him. They were locked on, and the guy quickly figured out that he was NOT going to get away, and so he ditched the bike and gave up when Dose fired his Gatorade missle!!! After it connected the guy was yelling back “Man a’ll shootch you!!!” among other things as he lifted his shirt to show off his invisible pistol he was “threatening” us with. As we made our way back to the CVS, the mountain-bike cops that roll around downtown strolled up. I figured I might as well give him another run for his money as he did to us, and so we let them know the situation and his whereabouts and another chase was on!!! We spotted him almost instantly and as soon as we made eye contact and he could see the 5-0 with us, running he was again!!! It was hilarious. He had nowhere to run and tried to hide in this back-alley parking lot where he got cornered and found himself giving up for the second time in no more than 5 minutes. I got the pleasure to stare at him dead in the eyes and do a few flatground tricks in front of him, and when the cops asked me what I wanted to do with him and the situation, I looked at him and told them “He’s not worth my damn time.” I knew they were just going to give him a short lecture and then let him go; I just wanted him to feel that much more like a piece-of-crap criminal through the chase with the cops, especially after putting his filthy hands on my bike and forcing us to waste our good energy on someone not worth the mold growing on the shit on the ground. They let us go pretty quickly, and so I let the dirtbag know to “suck it easy” on our way outa there. We met back up by the CVS where we all reflected on the scenario for a few minutes, all astonished at how brainless the guy was to even think about taking a bike from a group of riders. He must’ve been on a goooood one. We made our way to the last stop of the morning where Olsen proceeded to shut things down. We stopped at the Veteran’s rail by the water tower where we both double-pegged it, when Olsen got to thinkin’ about an icepick. By attempt number 3, the first 2 barely having looped out, he nailed it perfect! And it wasn’t like a full-speed gap down the stairset to barely kiss the end of the rail- it was slow run-up, early lock-in and a fully-balanced slide down the whole rail. Wish I had one of those Sanctuary “SHUT DOWN” stickers handy at the moment. So, thanks to Olsen and the rest of the crew, the session ended on a good note. And just a heads up to anyone who’s free on Monday mornings, the sessions have been dialed. Hit one of us up for the info and come ride with us!! And hold onto your bike!!!

About Andreas W.